Tired of a multifaceted and meaningful lifestyle, filled with annoyingly profound insights into the unfathomable and infinitesimal depths of one’s very soul?

Then try SUPERFISHOIL! Healthy, glowing and luminous outward appearances are seemingly yours with this one a day dose for your phony and undeniably frivolous exterior. No fishy aftertaste (unlike the Vodka Cruiser that guy bought you last week at Cargo Bar). OM(e)G(a) 3!!!

Also helps manage arthritis (or should that be ARTHWRONGIS?).

Are you feeling SUPERFISHOIL?

Update: I’ve checked and arthwrongis does not appear in the dictionary. Please ignore.

Before the mobile phone was invented did anyone ever say aloud “I am on a bus”?

Stream: Hall and Oates – You Make My Dreams

Stale Music! Is a subweekly NEWMEME where I (pundit tastemaker) keep you (Generalisation Y) out of date with the most archaic toons and rescue them from powerfully uncooldom by sheer force of my awesome personality (note to self: reword this to sound fresher and more twittable).

Hall and Oates formed in their respective mother’s wombs in the late 1940s. Their rapid transformation from zygote to baby demonstrated an adaptability that would serve them well in their musical experimentations of the late 70s and early 80s.

Always self-conscious of his surname, John Oates was extremely cautious when ordering breakfast cereals in case he encountered a zinging riposte from the cocky, yet sexy, wait staff. Daryl Hall on the other hand had many halls, passages and antechambers installed in his residence which he used to travel from one room to the other—neither stopping to appreciate the irony, nor sexily rejoinding himself.

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If you’re feeling sad and lonely, there’s a service I can render: It is possible to send yourself an SMS.

A hat I tried on last weekend said “One size fits all” but didn’t fit. I am suffering an existential crisis as a result.

The positive thing about being unattractive is that people don’t seem to mind if you are unpunctual as well.

Life Think #10: Muppet

March 3, 2009

I don’t understand the controversy over the Bill Henson photographs. He looks at least 50-years-old to me (see above).

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Looking for reliable and independent boating advice? Then don’t come to BIAS BOATING WAREHOUSE. Our predisposed staff are ready to influence you in seemingly arbitrary ways to make a gut decision that “just feels right at the time”. Impartiality? Out the door! Fairness? Slashed! Conclusions lacking the tarnish of preconceived notions? BOGOF!

BIAS A BOAT WOULDYA, DADDY?!?!?!

BIAS A BOAT WOULDYA, DADDY?!?!?!

BIAS BOATING WAREHOUSE – Where Bon Voyage is a Fait Accompli!

When I first heard that Dimebag Darrel from Pantera was shot onstage by a manic fan, I thought, oh man, those ads were totally right. Piracy really does hurt artists.