- Specialist Senior Airman Bay Leaf’s reticent Intestines Band
- Master Gunnery Sergeant Basil’s isolated Prostates Club Band
- Fleet Admiral Peppercorn’s unescorted Wombgroins Club Band
- Senior Chief Petty Officer Cayenne Pepper’s forsaken pituitary glands Club Band
- Commandant of the Coast Guard Cumin’s companionless Gall bladders Club Band
- Chief Warrant Officer Curry Powder’s barren Ovaries Club Band
- Private First Class Dill’s widowed Pancreas Club Band
- Chief of Naval Operations Nutmeg’s cast off Livers Club Band
- Rear Admiral Oregano’s introverted Testicles Club Band
- Colonel Commander Rosemary’s desolate Brains Club Band
- Brigadier General Sage’s abandoned Spleens Club Band
- 2nd Lieutenant Ensign Thyme’s solitary Pancreas Club Band
Life Think #54: Canoe Believe it?
August 26, 2009
I love the Olympics. It’s the only time I can legitimately use the phrase: “canoeing glory”.
Life Think #53: Hot Caucus
August 23, 2009
Why do politicians against gay marriage always talk about their “man date”?
Life Think #52: Beer Today
August 20, 2009
Life Thinks #51: Ctrl+B and the Beautiful
August 14, 2009
Handy Keyboard Shortcuts:
Insert + ~
A reluctant Tilda Swinton cameos in yet another Narnia film
Shift + Space
Puts all NASA calculations out by one, causing senior technical analyst Robert Le Gallant to push his delinquent son into a table of hors d’ oeuvres at his wife’s Tupperware party.
Page Up + Page Down
Page becomes self-aware and writes gothic poetry
Break + Enter + Home + Esc + ? + #
Former child actor Todd Bridges assuages guilt over a previous felony by smoking 1/8 of a gram of marijuana
All Keys at Once
Alecia Keys vomits a small portion of a partially digested vegetarian foccacia in her mouth during a concert.
Life Think #50: Pooen Transfer
August 11, 2009
If I ever met Wil Anderson I’d say “More like Won’t Anderson” and click my fingers in a Z-shape, then do that thing with my legs that dogs do after they pee.
Life Think #49: Railmance
August 8, 2009
Sometimes when I run for the train and just miss the doors I think of screaming out “Don’t go! I love you!” to change the moment for onlookers from pathetic to romantic.
Life Think #48: Mi Boreng
August 5, 2009
Spanish Homeowner: “Mi Casa Su Casa”
Spanish Student: “Mi Goreng Su Goreng”
Life Think #47: Politically Quad Core-ect
August 2, 2009
My computer got a virus. It was PC gone mad.
